"John Conner" resists Jessica

He wants to fight homosexual agendas AND "singing stripper" types? Seems contradictory to me...


June 30, 2005 -- A Christian group calling itself "The Resistance" wants Jessica Simpson (above) to apologize for her "slutty" video of "These Boots are Made for Walking" and re-shoot a clean version. The group objects to Simpson's racy antics in the vid, especially because her father was a pastor and she's a Christian role model. "It's sad to see her whore herself out like this," declares the group's, rep "John Conner" (he won't divulge his real name). "She's a singing stripper." The Resistance has also blasted MTV for "celebrating the homosexual agenda."

Gummy Bears?

2. gummy bear

The act a male performs when placing one's genitals in the mouth of a sleeping senior citizen when their gums are out.
Josh's grandma is asleep, gums are out, and gummy bear is in the air!

I dedicate this to Oliver

http://www.ejbdotcom.net/content/1129.html

Ladies, be careful when on conference calls...

http://www.ugoto.com/videos/go/badconferencecall

What can you say about this one?

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/62405-padoccharged.html

"I felt my soul taking wing"

http://www.boomsalon.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?boom=11

Why Wasn't My Principal Like This?

(...then again, if he was, I would have been scarred for life. That is, more than I am now.)

Principal Won't Lose Job Over Racy Dance
Fri Jun 24, 4:32 PM ET

SELMA, Ind. - A middle school principal who shocked some parents and community members by what they described as suggestively dancing with male students at a talent show will not be fired, a school official said.

....

Some community members said Mehaffey's behavior at the show was inappropriate.

She wore short shorts, had a male student pretending to be a police officer handcuff her and tore the T-shirt off another boy during an encore of the songs "YMCA" and "Macho Man."

Penis of the Week

This week, my penis is named Phil.

jessicasimpson_l4

jessicasimpson_l4
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

For Amanda... Not a bad outfit.

Help Lindsay!

Kid Rock had a hell of a night last night.

But despite my satisfaction, I can't help but feel for those in need.
Like Lindsay, and her now-lonely big-boobs tops. So help Lindsay help herself:

http://www.petitiononline.com/feedll/petition.html

Penis of the Week

This coming week, my penis will be named Kid Rock.

I'm Not Screaming With Laughter

These video clips are not at all funny. They're sad and poignant. The fact that I have been screaming with laughter while watching them is purely coincidental. Something else was making me laugh. Especially while watching the bit with the giant blue M&M. I wsan't laughing at this guy. Really. You won't either, will you?

http://www.tourettesguy.com/videos.htm

jessicasimpsonb

jessicasimpsonb
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

The best car wash. Ever.

News Anchor: This Just In...

http://www.ugoto.com/flash/go/newsanchorfartsoncamera

His name would be Wood

rub it for luck....


http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3314339a4560,00.html

Oprah's Bra Wisdom

"It's important to remember that there are no bad breasts"...

http://et.tv.yahoo.com/celebrities/etsid088140011620/


(and, speaking of Breasts -- Amanda, you DO look great in those wedding pics. My Willie Nelson jumped off his figuarative bar stool)

Jessica Simpson

Willie Nelson and I literally cannot get enough of Jessica's new video. We have watched it 429 times over the past few days. Can I get a yee-ha?

Why They're Fighting For Our Freedom...

http://www.livejournal.com/users/marinesrsohawt/

Great links for a grey Tuesday

Singing about being a gynecologist and other gems of the day...


http://www.whatarerecords.com/sl/

http://b3ta.com/features/phalliclogoawards/

http://www.enwhore.com/viewmovie.php?mid=583

Penis of the Week

My penis and I had a long, hard discussion this weekend. The daily name changing has given him a bit of an identity complex. So for the time being, we might stick to a name per week, rather than per day.

So, this week, in honor of Jessica Simpson's incredible video promoting what is sure to be a horrific movie, my penis shall be named My Willie Nelson.

The Japanese strike again

And I had thought that their love of tennis star Maria Sharapova was so pure...

http://www.nodaya-net.com/sharanpowan1.htm

I've been busy (and oily)...

Underwear Thieves' Return in Cambodia
Email this Story

Jun 9, 12:46 PM (ET)

PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) - Robbers who strike while wearing only underwear, their bodies slathered with oil to make them slippery and harder to catch, have resurfaced in Cambodia.
Two unidentified, underwear-clad burglars robbed homes in the southern province of Takeo on May 30, The Cambodia Daily quoted area police chief Sok Tum as saying.
Police thought they had quashed the "underwear gang" last year, the report said. They apparently wear only underwear in an attempt to make themselves harder to identify.
Residents had started a community watch program to prevent such crimes, Sok Tum said. But "the underwear thieves resurfaced in my region because the villagers stopped," he said.

Olson twins?

http://www.thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/archives/et10.jpg

Penis of the Weeekend

For this weekend, my penis shall be named Johnny Dangerously.

Havin' a Ball

From Page Six:
Ben Affleck can get a little nutty around his buddy Kevin Smith. The "Jersey Girl" director tells Maxim U.K. that during filming of the 2004 flop, Affleck used to pull a prank called a "Fruit Basket." Smith explains: "I'd be sitting in the di rector's chair and I'd be watching a playback, and he'd stand behind me. Every once in a while I'd feel something on my neck. I'd be like, 'What the [bleep] was that?' And I'd turn around and he'd have his [scrotum] out and resting on my neck. I was like, 'What the [bleep] is wrong with you, dude?' What if it got out in the press that that's the kind of thing you do?' He's like, 'No one would ever [bleeping] believe you, sir.' "

Thursday, June 9

Today, in honor of Russell Crowe's phone assault, my penis shall be named "My Gladiator".

Ah, German sex huts....

When I think of Germany and soccer, my thoughts naturally turn to sex huts...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8144195/

WTF?

http://www.focusdaddy.com/girls_cars_mud.html

Wed, June 8

Today, my penis shall be named Gigantor.

Don't Touch Me

Oh, come on now. Is this really possible?

http://www.urologyteam.com/doctors/dr_richard_chopp.php

Penis of the Day

Today my penis shall be called Randy Johnson.

e-Junk?

search google images for e-Junk. then ask yourself: why??

Ask the Expert

Today I will begin a new feature here, in which I respond to my readers' questions about life, relationships, sex, and popular culture. And readers, feel free to share your own comments as well. So, on to the first question:

Q. We've been married for four years and only make love once every two months. Every night, my husband says he's tired or it's been a rough day -- but I know what kind of day he had because we work together. I know he's interested in other women -- he gets excited when he spots someone appealing on the street. Every night he does a solo with himself when he thinks I'm asleep. But for me, he's always too tired. What can I do to get him interested?

A. This is a surprisingly not uncommon problem that plagues many women, many of whom assume there is something
wrong with them and that they are alone in this. My answer, thankfully enough, is quite simple, and effective.
Don't worry about getting him interested. Just come over here and let me and Mr. Belding show you a good time.
You won't be able to remember your sicko husband's name.

Be Like Mike

Mike Tyson:

''I want to develop my life into missionary (work). I'm not going to be a Jesus freak. But that's what I'm going to give my life to. I love Jesus and I believe in Jesus, too — and I'm a Muslim. Listen, I got a imam, I got a rabbi, I got a priest, I got a reverend — I got 'em all. But I don't want to be holier-than-thou. I want to help everybody and still get some (sex)."

For Amanda

I dedicate this site to Amanda & her friends:

http://www.poopnames.com/

Kooky Ikea

Do a google image search for Ikea...

Friday, June 3

Mr. Belding proved to be extremely popular last night. And so the name will stay through the weekend.

Crazy Good

NEW YORK -
Britney Spears is loving life as a pregnant woman — the cravings, watching sonograms and especially the sex. "I think it's better than it was before," Spears tells People magazine in the issue on newsstands Friday. "I think it's best. Sex is crazy good."

Is there anything that is NOT fetishizable?

http://groups.msn.com/heartbeatmaniacs

June 2

Today, my penis shall be named Mr. Belding.

Teri's tittie trouble

After her recent confession that she would pose for Playboy, Teri Hatcher has also let slip that her nipples cause huge problems on the Desperate Housewives set.

It seems that the sheer bras she chooses to wear have made the show’s bosses reach for the re-toucher to in order to protect her modesty.“When it’s cold and it’s 30, 40 degrees and you’re shooting outside in a T-shirt, things arise,” Hatcher explained. “I tried to wear thicker T-shirts and I have even took those heating pads you use when you ski. I thought we’d solved the problem, but then I just heard from somebody just a few weeks ago that apparently they’ve spent, like, thousands of dollars digitally removing my nipples from the show.”

But Hatcher isn’t the only one with this problem. Nicolette Sheridan does, too.
“Me and Nicolette both have the nipple erasing issue, I think,” confessed Hatcher.

Wed, June 1

In honor of the big news yesterday, today my penis shall be called Deep Throat Probe.