Jump the couch

Jump the couch:
A defining moment when you know someone has gone off the deep end. Inspired by Tom Cruise's recent behavior on Oprah. Also see jump the shark

E.g.: My new boyfriend Benny seemed totally normal until he jumped the couch and started rubbing spicy brown mustard on his body at my family reunion.

Favorite Wedding Crasher rule

Rule #17 – Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.

Cheap Movie Date

I'm almost as impressed with him as I am horrified. Almost.
http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/popcorn/

Brontosauras is my favorite kind

Scarlett Johansson
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

July 30, 2005 -- SCARLETT Johansson says she nearly crashed her car when she saw her "brontosaurus-sized" boobs on a billboard for her new movie, "The Island." "I was driving through Los Angeles and I look up and see the biggest photo of me I have ever seen in my life on a massive ad space," she told Scotland's Daily Record. "I screamed and slammed on the brakes. It's very strange to see my cleavage the size of a brontosaurus. My breasts were huge . . . I couldn't get past the cleavage."


[She and I now have something in common. I can't get past her cleavage either.]

My Cup runneth over

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050729/od_uk_nm/oukoe_odd_worldcup_brothel

BJ follies

http://tuckermax.com/blowjobfollies.html

Penis of the Week

This week my penis shall be known as The Wedding Crasher.

I just spent $2200 on a laptop I don't need

just because I felt like it. I need a vacation.

50 people who need a beating

I was shocked to see that I actually agreed with most of these.

http://www.thephatphree.com/features.asp?StoryID=1111&SectionID=1

College party #3

College party #3
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

The guy on the left can't even process what's going on.

College party #2

College party #2
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

College is so empowering.

College party #1

College party #1
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

Would this be considered a work-study job?

Flip Flops even at the White House?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050719/ap_on_fe_st/flip_flop_flap

Penis of the Week

In honor of Jude Law, who was just caught cheating on his fiance by nailing
his kid's nanny(!) -- I guess he has a hard time meeting women outside of his
house -- I'm naming my penis Jude this week.

As in Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song, and make it better.

Not to mention, "So let it out and let it in, Hey Jude begin, you're waiting
for someone to perform with..."
-- holy shit, maybe McCartney had my penis in mind from the beginning when he
wrote this song!

40 things that only happen in movies

http://www.nostalgiacentral.com/features/20moviethings.htm

Tiffany Amber Thiessen

TAT (1)
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

Tiffany's getting married. What will Zack think?

Sports #2

Sports #2
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

I love sports.

Sports #1

Sports #1
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

My kind of golf

So many punch lines....

JACKSONVILLE, Ark. - Three strippers and two nightclub managers have been arrested for allegedly spanking a trucker at his 31st birthday bash and severely bruising his backside.

After his friends paid $25, Keith Lowery was handcuffed and spanked with a 3-foot-long paddle and a belt while one of the strippers restrained his head with her legs, investigators with the Pulaski County Sheriff's Office said.

Kelly Eslick, 21, a stripper at Sensations nightclub in Jacksonville admitted to police that she used a paddle drilled with holes for less air resistance while the two other dancers, Lisa Nolen, 23, and Charlene Smith, 23, used the belt.

The three women were charged with misdemeanor battery, and they and two other club employees — James Daugherty, 31, and Dena Mitchell, 30 — were charged with participating in an obscene performance at a live public show, a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

Daugherty had planned to have patrons sign a waiver releasing the club from liability, but investigators said the club has agreed to discontinue all spankings. All five club employees were arraigned Friday, then released after receiving an Aug. 4 court date in Pulaski County District Court.

jessica-patriotic

jessica-patriotic
Originally uploaded by incident_57.

As a tribute to our nation's birthday, a reason to be proud...some domestic bliss.

Penis of the Week

In honor of the 4th of July weekend, my penis will be named Paul Revere.
And it won't only be the British who are coming.

Masurbate for Peace

http://www.masturbateforpeace.com/posters.html